Step out of the role of rescuer - Michele Knight
Here is some insight into The Rescuer or 'The White Knight. Rescuers are compulsive, often uninvited, helpers who cannot resist the temptation to jump in What do you feel the outcome of this kind of a relationship will be. Chances are you are a nurturer at heart and a rescuer in relationships. As much as we don't like to think so we all have needs and sometimes one of our needs. You just might have fallen into the role of rescuer. Rescuers go beyond the boundaries of healthy reciprocity in relationships into a space where they have.
5 Signs You Have White Knight Syndrome: Playing The Rescuer In Your Relationships
While it is possible to meet a wonderful person during difficult life periods, you have to be careful when entering a new relationship at a time like this because your judgment is probably clouded. You are vulnerable during a crisis, and you are not looking or acting like your best self.
Once your crisis passes, you will often act, look, and think differently, inside and outside the relationship. He was your lifeline through a crisis. Did you feel your significant other was a lifeline during your crisis?
A lifeline is someone who is right there as a shoulder to cry on—on a constant basis. This lifeline is available at all hours, and constantly validates your feelings. Maybe he even offered financial support, a place to stay, and activities to distract you.
The Rescuer Personality (The White Knight)
Or he keeps calling you all the time to check on you and spend an inordinate amount of time with you. Typically, your lifeline will encourage you to view him as the strong one in the relationship, the one person who will take care of you and all your needs. As a result, you might start to see yourself as wronged, victimized, and in need of help—all the time. He is threatened by your recovery and independence.
Rescuers are often insecure themselves.
3 Sure Signs That You're in a Rescuer Relationship
They seek out someone who needs them and fear what may happen if their loved one needs them less once the crisis has passed. He may make you feel guilty for doing activities without him, or discourage you from pursuing a hobby or more education. They want other people to need them, and will go from one person to the next offering assistance in order to gain this sense of being needed.
When others ask for their assistance and they are unable to help they are overcome with guilt.Rescue Fantasies
They feel utterly rejected when their assistance is not welcome. Since childhood the Rescuer has had the desire to save someone, usually a family member, such as an alcoholic father, depressed mother, or ill sibling.
They carry this nurturing trait into adulthood, along with many other positive characteristics, including: They are skilled at making others feel less isolated in their emotional pain. Although they are not consciously aware of this, saving others is often an attempt at saving the self from past or present emotional pain; their rescuing behaviour can be seen as symbolic self-healing.
Their persistence when tackling a problem, even though it belongs to someone else, can be encouraging. You might think that we could all benefit from having a Rescuer close by.
However, there are some negatives to this personality: Rescuers have the tendency to neglect themselves due to their neurotic obsession to look after others.