Anxiety and Romance: Managing Relationship Anxiety
I'm here because I am in a precious relationship that is breaking down . When I was in the midst of great anxiety I'd try to deal with it my. Depression in a relationship can lead to pain and frustration for both parties. How to Be a Caregiver to Someone With Anxiety or Depression. People with social anxiety disorder may constantly worry how they are being judged by others, so they may avoid romantic relationships or dating in general.
This leads me on to; Examine your motivations before you act If you are feeling depressed, a symptom of that might be that you feel needy and dependent.
If your partner doesn't realise this is a symptom of your depression they may well feel your behaviour is irrational - and tell you so. You might feel that they don't understand you and respond by ignoring them or going quiet and refusing to open up.
But what is your motivation here? Fundamentally, what you might want is for your partner to pay you the attention your 'needy feeling' wants today. But playing these kind of games isn't the most straightforward way to get there. It may well start an argument or cause upset when it doesn't go your way and, for example, they just leave 'because you're ignoring me'.
So instead - before you take an action which might affect your relationship - try to establish what it is that you really need and think about whether there is a clearer, more open path to get it. Use what works even if it feels weird It's really common to feel as though a relationship should flow along wonderfully and if it doesn't then there is something wrong with it. In fact this is quite a disempowering viewpoint.
Relationship breakdown because of my Depression and Anxiety
You have the power to make it work if you both want to. Sometimes this involves finding tools and techniques to help. Some of the suggestions for managing really difficult times in relationships include ones using numbers to help you communicate when you're not feeling up to a long conversation.
Deciding what the numbers mean 1 might be 'I'm just about doing ok, but could use some love today so be patient with me' and 5 might be 'I'm really struggling, I don't even feel able to talk about it but I need you with me today so much I need you to prioritise me over other plans' and then using them to communicate how you feel could help when, in the moment, you're not able to put it into words. Another tactic if you are struggling to put everything you want to say into words is to try writing it down.
It might feel odd initially to hand your partner a letter or send them an email when you live in the same house - but you might find that it works.
You have more time to formulate what you want to say and they have more time to absorb it and work out how they feel about it. These techniques might not work for you but my point is that you shouldn't feel odd about using whatever does.
It's actually a really normal and healthy way to negotiate difficult times effectively. On a slightly different note - be prepared and open to trying things that you might not think is 'you'. This might be a mindfulness course or some counselling - as a couple or individually. Finding new spaces and ways of managing and talking about how to strengthen your couple 'team' can be really valuable - and in ways you don't always expect.
Enlist the help of your partner in helping you to recognise when you're struggling and reminding you it won't last forever - and don't disregard it when they do. In a previous blog entry, I wrote about how when you are in the midst of a depressive episode it's hard to imagine that you will ever feel better.
You can't remember what it feels like to feel good. You often need help in this state to be reminded about what feeling better feels like. Your partner can help with this. When they do remind you it's very easy to push it aside - that's what depression makes you do.
But try and remember to listen to them - even if in the moment you can't genuinely believe what they are saying. Knowing your partner knows you and wants the best for you means it is easier to trust them when they are encouraging you that taking a shower, taking a walk, going for a run or attending your appointment is actually a good move.
Similarly, a partner can help you to notice when you are showing the warning signs of a relapse - especially if you identify what these are and put them up on a list somewhere. Identifying the warning signs is a useful exercise for you both.
Read up on it and ask about it. There are loads of useful resources both on and offline which can help you both to understand the issues and how you can help each other. If you find something that seems to make sense to you or describes how you feel or the interactions you have as a couple - share it with your partner.
There are also loads of forums and support groups that can help. This leads me on to; Look for support from others. As a couple, you will be managing depression or anxiety as part of your relationship.
But both partners can benefit from getting external support. Hearing other's stories or just having somewhere else to talk about it - whether this is online, or with a friend over coffee or a drink - can really help.
Don't underestimate the pressure that being the one relied on can cause. This follows neatly on from the previous point and is mainly for a partner who tends to spend more time supporting the other.
Anxiety Checklist Action Steps Pursuing a romantic relationship can sometimes feel like a dangerous game.
Spouse or Partner | Anxiety and Depression Association of America, ADAA
Dating requires a certain amount of vulnerability, and it comes with the risk of getting hurt or being disappointed. Because of the uncertain outcome, people can experience a fair amount of anxiety about their current romantic relationship or the hurdles of pursuing a new one. Many people find that having an untreated anxiety disorder can affect their romantic life. People with social anxiety disorder may constantly worry how they are being judged by others, so they may avoid romantic relationships or dating in general due to the fear of embarrassment.Relationship Anxiety - Behaviors, Symptoms and Advice
Others with generalized anxiety disorder may have trouble with dating or managing relationships as well, as they struggle with worry about their partner abandoning them. Everyone is susceptible to day-to-day stress manifesting as worry about a relationship, fear of the dating process, or trouble communicating with a partner. Article continues below Are you suffering from anxiety?
Take our 2-minute anxiety quiz to see if you may benefit from further diagnosis and treatment. Action Steps for Managing Relationship Anxiety Ask for help — Never assume that you have to learn to manage anxiety in relationships by yourself. Consider how individual counseling can help you manage your fears about relationships or take steps towards a happier dating life.