Relationship development and the dialectical model

“Relational Dialectics: Friends or More?” | The Corinthian

relationship development and the dialectical model

state of the dialectical tension in relationships and constrain subsequent best be understood as an exercise in typology development as scholars sought to still stands as a productive model of the kind of culturally sensitive work that is. Download a PDF of this article here: relational dialectics ziemann By of a relationship, individuals may appreciate it and apply it as a model for their own real-life of relationships that bring about tensions including development, closeness. Relational dialectics theory is an interpersonal communication theory They developed the theory to explain how communication creates and.

They developed the theory to explain how communication creates and constantly changes close relationships. Baxter and Montgomery independently analyzed tensions inherent in romantic relationships and listed the contradictions voiced by the couples. Although in the initial phase, both Baxter and Montgomery worked separately, they soon realized that what they were doing was common. They then came together to co-author a book called Dialectical Approaches to Studying Personal Relationships in the 90s.

  • Relational Dialectics Theory
  • Relational dialectics

It is because each individual is different from the other in one way or another. So when two individuals unite to form a relationship, the tensions they face are unique in nature. However, the theorists have proposed list assumptions and concepts that justifies relationship dynamics to a certain point. The relational dialectical theory is based on four major concepts and assumptions. Assumptions of Relational Dialectics Theory Relationships are not linear. Relational life is characterized by change.

Contradiction is the fundamental fact of relational life. Communication is central to organizing and negotiating relational contradictions. Concepts of Relational Dialectics Theory Contradiction Contradiction is one of the core concepts of relational dialectics theory. A contradiction is generated when two tendencies are interdependent, yet mutually negate one another.

It can be easily understood from the above example. Totality Totality says that contradictions in a relationship are a unified whole and cannot be understood in isolation. In simpler language, it means that the contradictions are intrinsically related to each other and cannot be separated. It takes both opposing tendencies to form a contradiction. Motion Relationships are processual in nature.

It means that relationships are not about a single event. Rather, they are about various social processes that are simultaneous and of recurring manner. We see Joe and Hailie do not feel the same with each other all the time. They move between the periods when they want to spend more time with each other and when they want to be their own person. This movement between contrary phases can be understood as motion. Praxis Praxis focuses on the practical choices that human makes amidst the opposing needs.

Not only does tension arise verbally, but it also comes up nonverbally. She is unable to fully do this because Ross keeps holding one of her hands. Rachel can only manage one arm around her coworker.

Dialectical Theory |

Ross is so protective of Rachel and clingy that he does not like her affection towards anyone but himself. Unfortunately for Ross, Rachel has made plans to see Mark, the coworker, on Monday for a fashion seminar.

relationship development and the dialectical model

This upsets and shocks Ross. He does not appreciate her making plans out of work when he is not involved. Rachel knows this fashion seminar is going to benefit her career and she must go, and to her, going with a coworker and a friend is no problem; to Ross it is an issue.

Oh, no, no, I was just thinking about something funny I heard today. Ross makes a bigger deal out of her going to this seminar and not asking him to go. He also wishes she had not asked Mark. He feels threatened that Rachel is spending more time with another man, and it is taking away from his relationship with her.

In reality, Rachel is benefiting herself and her career and using a coworker to help her do that. Ross seems unwilling to change his ways and give Rachel space, so he suggests he go with her to the lecture: Look honey, Mark is in fashion, okay?

I like having a friend that I can share this stuff with. You guys would never want to go to a lecture with me. I would love to go with you. Her reaction could be read as ambiguous.

“Relational Dialectics: Friends or More?”

She is excited that Ross is willing to experience something she loves, but she is also confused as to why Ross feels the need to be so close to her.

Rachel is listening intently to what the lecturer is saying about sheer navy blouses as Ross begins to talk: She puts her hand over his mouth.

relationship development and the dialectical model

This interaction between Ross and Rachel is a sure sign of tension. Ross cannot let Rachel be independent and free and he does not realize he is deterring her from the happiness of being successful in fashion. Instead, he is thinking of only himself and how he wants to be close to her.

Ross you were snoring. Forty-five minutes the man talked about strappy-backed dresses. Okay, see now, what I just heard: I wonder how many people would go see a movie called Jurassic Parka. Oh, that is so… Ross: No-no-no, a bunch of out of control jackets take over an island. This fight between Ross and Rachel is a prime example of how they are suffering from the integration separation dialectical tension.

This fight, though, can occur not only in a fictional show but in real life as well. Audiences form real connections with relationships within television. The show Friends has to depict these two characters as fighting in order to show their true thoughts. For example, Ross must elaborate on his feelings about Rachel while talking to her, since he never gets a chance to speak directly to the audience, and Rachel must respond and tell him everything will be okay between them: I… I wanted to be with you.

I love you, I love you so much. I, but, I mean is that okay? Sure, I-I-I… hugs her and mouths No!! Rachel has the level head of the partnership. She knows that she and Ross will be fine together and they will stay together even if they have their own careers and lives. She has to explain this knowledge to him to make him feel secure and confident.

The differences in their beliefs and personalities allow for them to grow and become stronger together—if, that is, Ross can learn to give Rachel some space. Conclusion Relational dialectics can help a relationship to grow and despite occasionally causing tension can help strengthen the relationship in the end. Ross and Rachel had to talk through their tensions in order to learn exactly what they were facing.

This research can be used to remind everyone that dialectical tensions do exist and if the couple is able to cope with them and overcome them, they can improve the relationship. Baxter and Montgomery had it right in their studies that dialogue is key to overcoming various tensions. Through communication, the tensions can be diminished and dissolved.

These events between couples can be used to further understandings of relationships. Ross and Rachel, although fictional, can be looked at by actual couples as a model for their own.

Dialectical Theory

Most people watch television shows and see the relationships depicted on them and compare them to their own. This study also adds to existing knowledge and research done on not only relational dialectics, but also on a fictional working relationship that is an example for real-life couples. As television shows grow more popular and depict a wider variety of tensions, people who watch will have better models and examples to use in their own relationships. If more people would think of them as actual examples of what to do or what not to do, tensions could be avoided right from the start.

There are many ways this research could be furthered.

relationship development and the dialectical model

One could continue to research the tensions between Ross and Rachel past episode 14 of season 3; their relationship as a whole and not just a few scenes presented. One could look at the other relationships of the show, the other fictional characters represented on Friends. Another great way to further the research of fictional relationships and how they can be used to help real relationships would be to look at other television shows, movies, or written fiction.

There are so many relationships in the world and all can be examined in order to benefit others. Relating Dialogues and Dialectics.